


The Lab Assistant

by Sleepwalkingnun



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AU, F/F, Flirting, Shit gets GAY(tm), There are no ghosts in this universe, and she apologetically hits on the head physicist, puns, so basically holtz is the new lab assistant, who is Erin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepwalkingnun/pseuds/Sleepwalkingnun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The new lab assistant doesn't seem too concerned with professionalism. Or the appropriateness of hitting on her boss.</p><p>It's an AU. Just work with me here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lab Assistant

Erin walked into the laboratory at 7:05 AM, the exact same time as every day. She arrived 55 minutes before the others to prepare their work (and coffee) for the day. As head physicist, she also stayed 55 minutes late in order to clean up after the horrible lab assistant and prep the prep work for the following morning.

After 55 minutes of reorganizing lab coats, adding creamer to coffee, re-writing equations, cleaning dirty beakers, and choosing the daily Pandora station, Dr. Gilbert’s colleagues began to groggily file indoors. Erin made a mental checklist of the different specialists as they put on their coats and grabbed their specialized mugs -- Dr. Yates, check. Dr. Fieg, check. Dr. Tolan, check. Dr. Rudolph, check.

“Where’s Kevin?” Erin asked. His piping hot mug of water remained on the counter and the lab coat he requested (he liked to feel important) was limp on the hook.

“Oh, Kevin’s last day was yesterday,” Dr. Yates answered. “In lieu of a 2-weeks notice, he left a napkin with a note that said ‘Mike Hat and I are going to Hollywood for an audition for Babadook 2. Thanks for everything! - Kev.’” Erin stood, slack-jawed. “We think he meant Marmaduke 2. And he spelled Kev wrong. It’s his own nickname.”

“What, so we’re just out of an assistant today?”

“Oh, no! I have a friend, Dr. Jillian Holtzmann, who offered to fill in until we find a replacement!” Abby stared and smiled a little too hard, just waiting for Erin’s probing questions.

“It’s 8:00. Your friend can’t bother to be on time?”

“She’s one of the top nuclear engineers in the nation! I think she can afford to be a little bit late, Dr. Judgey-Before-She’s-Met-y.”

Erin sighed, “I’m just skeptical of the top nuclear engineer in the nation. The top engineer who just has time to be a lab assistant until who knows!”

“Oh, so you’re skeptical of the power of friendship?”

The two quibbled back and forth until they were suddenly interrupted by--

“Dr. Holtzmann, reporting for lowly lab duty.” A petite blonde woman stood in a mock-salute. Erin eyed young engineer suspiciously. Unprofessional hair, tinted glasses, and already mocking her authority. A horrible way to start.

“...Alright, Holtzmann--”

“Please, call me Holtzy.”  
“...Alright, Holtzmann. I take it that you know the duties of a lab assistant?” Jillian nodded slowly and raised an eyebrow. “Kevin usually took orders from me--”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll have any problems with that,” Holtzmann murmured as Abby quickly whisked her away into a lab apron.

 

*****************

Dr. Gilbert sat alone in her office as she checked the work of Dr. Tolan. Impeccable, as always. “Holtzmann?” she called out into the hall. The assistant appeared quicker than Erin thought possible, unless she was already outside the door.

“Yes, Erin?”

“Dr. Gilbert. We’re not collegues right now. You’re my assistant. And could you take this beaker to the wash?” She held out a crusty piece of glass, which Jillian took with exaggerated care.

“Yes, of course, Dr. Gilbert. I do, uh, have a question.” The physicist carefully studied her eyes, which seemed to be sincere.

“What is it?”

“Can I be the phasor to your electron?”

“I’m sorry?”

 

“I would like to take you to an excited state,” Jillian winked and leaned on the table, waiting for a response.

“...Just wash the glass, Holtzmann.”

*****************

As head physicist, part of Dr. Gilbert’s job was overseeing lab activity done by the other scientists. Dr. Yates was testing a particularly medieval contraption largely held together by rubber bands, duct tape, and a well-placed shoe. Erin took special care to stand on the opposite side of the machine as Holtzmann, who was doing basic data entry.

“The shoe SHOULD be able to carry the current, but the specialized rubber doesn’t seem to be working,” Dr. Yates explained carefully. “The biorubber has to be completely scratched, we have to start all over from the beginning.” She threw her hands in the air exasperatedly, “Holtzmann, could you get this out of my sight? And next time can we go for an Air Jordan? These Converse are giving me bad vibes.”

Erin quickly turned to check up on Dr. Fieg, but not before--

“I didn’t know physicists were such fuddy-duddies,” Dr. Holtzmann teased as she took the massive machine in her arms.

“I...How on earth are you carrying that entire thing?” Asked Erin, temporarily mesmerized by her strength.

“You get used to carrying around highly unstable equipment without a car PRETTY quickly when you’re the top nuclear engineer in the nation,” Holtzmann bragged.

“I-I don’t see the correlation there.”

“Mmm, you seem to be missing out on a lot. Being a physicist, and all.”

“Alright, get it over with,” Erin sighed.

“I mean, physicists are all math. But nuclear engineering is all about elements. See, we do our work on the table. Periodically,” Jillian winked again, this time drawing slightly closer.

Dr. Gilbert paused, unsure of what to do. “Ah. There it is.” She turned to shake off the encounter and check up on the other scientists, leaving Jillian to dispose of the failed experiment.

*****************

As 5:00 PM rolled around, Dr. Gilbert watched her colleagues hang up their jackets and walk to their cars. She usually spent quite some time washing corrosive chemicals from tables, disposing of Twinkie wrappers, and spraying Fabreeze on a particularly sweat-filled pair of lab booties. She quickly made her way into the usually-filthy lab to find it spotless.

“Surprised?” Erin nearly jumped out of her skin when Dr. Holtzmann whispered from behind her, “Isn’t it nice having a competent lab assistant? Now you don’t have to stay an hour after work. Abby told me.”

“God, Holtzmann! What are you doing here? You just about gave me a heart attack--And PLEASE don’t make it into an innuendo about how ‘you can give me more than just a heart attack.’ It’s unprofessional and, frankly, not what our laboratory strives to represent.” Erin turned a deep red as Jillian leaned against the wall, studying her intently.

“I wasn’t going to say anything. It seems like you were already thinking it,” Dr. Holtzmann crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side, waiting for a response.

“I...Look-look...I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish. Why are you staying late?”

“I have to restock the carbonates. I take my job very seriously and don’t take distractions well,” Jillian mocked. “Now, if you’d excuse me…” She waited for Erin to move from the entrance of the stock room, but the taller woman wasn’t budging. She waited intently.

“Just get it over with. Whatever joke you’re going to make about unzipping my genes, just do it.” The doctor’s flirting was confusing, but her feigning innocence drove Erin crazy.

“Errrmm, okay. I can give you more than just a heart attack. Is that good enough for you, Dr.--”

Jillian wasn’t able to finish her sentence. Before she could fully process the situation, Erin had grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into an embarrassed, nervous kiss. Jillian could feel the other woman’s fingers slowly loosening their grip as the nerves left their bodies. What started as an impulsive attempt to stop the mockery trailed off as Jillian put her hands on Erin’s hips.

“Yeah, that was good enough for me. See you tomorrow, Dr. Holtzmann,” Erin nervously sputtered as she rushed out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: this was partially inspired by the 3 weeks my mother talked about that scary movie "The Marmaduke."


End file.
